We're putting too much pressure on our kids if we're expecting them to find a job aligned with their "true passion". Here's what the research suggests they should do instead.
As a parent of a teenager, you’ve probably heard the advice: “Follow your passion, and you’ll never work a day in your life.” While it sounds inspiring, the truth is, this mindset can set your teen up for frustration and disappointment. Here’s why, and what you can encourage them to do instead.
The Problem with Passion
Passion is often seen as a career compass, but research and experience show otherwise. Passion is rare, takes time to develop, and is often a side effect of becoming really good at something. When teenagers pursue work based solely on what they’re passionate about now, they may find themselves discouraged when the reality of hard work, skill-building, and inevitable challenges kick in.
Worse, they might misinterpret temporary struggles as a sign they’re in the wrong career, leading to unnecessary self-doubt or early burnout. The truth is, fulfilling careers aren’t built overnight—they’re grown through intentional effort and learning.
Let's be honest, a lot of teens aren't "passionate" about anything, and instead having fleeting interests that seem to change overnight.
Here's what they should do instead:
1. Focus on Strengths
Encourage your teen to build on their natural talents and skills rather than chasing fleeting interests. If they’re good at problem-solving, communication, or working with their hands, those strengths can become the foundation for a career they’ll enjoy and excel in. Help them identify these strengths by reflecting on their achievements or using tools like our Next Step Careers Strengths Test.
2. Master a Rare and Valuable Skill
Teens should focus on becoming "so good they can't be ignored." This requires dedication and deliberate practice—pushing beyond their comfort zone and honing their abilities through feedback and effort. Skills like coding, creative writing, public speaking, or managing others are rare and in demand, making them invaluable assets in any career.
Again, this requires a clear understanding of their strengths–and the realisation that success won't come overnight.
The more specific the skill they develop, the more valuable they will be to a potential employer. It's relatively easy to get into IT; becoming a cybersecurity specialist for banks could make you an extremely valuable employee. You can become a mechanic straight out of school; becoming an agricultural machinery specialist for a winery is less common–and more rewarding.
3. Prioritise Autonomy Over Job Title
Most of you know what it's like to have been in a job with no control over your time and even a micromanaging boss–we know the importance of autonomy in work. For teenagers, this lesson begins with understanding that job titles aren’t as meaningful as having control over their time and responsibilities.
Help them seek roles that allow for flexibility and personal growth rather than chasing promotions or prestige alone. However, we first need to work to our strengths and develop a valuable skill before asking for more autonomy in our jobs.
We all want to make a decent living, but research shows that once we earn over about $95,000, there is no correlation between how much we earn and life satisfaction.
4. Find a Calling, Not Just a Job
While passion is not the most important ingredient at the start of your career, it is important. Finding work that gives us a sense of meaning and fulfilment in our job can be the difference between resenting work and loving it. Yes, passion does matter.
Encourage your teen to go into fields of work aligned with their values, and where there's potential for them to develop a sense of purpose in their work.
You do not need to be solving climate change or coaching the All Blacks to find a professional calling. Research shows that even the most seemingly awful job–being a janitor for a hospital–can be fulfilling if the person feels they're contributing their strengths to a purpose greater than themselves.
Ironically, the difference between a "great" job and a "terrible" job can come down to your mindset.
Building a Resilient Career
It’s okay if your teen doesn’t have it all figured out. Careers aren’t linear, and success doesn’t come from blindly following passion but from putting in the work to develop skills, earning autonomy, and develop purpose over time.
As a parent, you can support them by helping them identify their strengths, guiding their decision-making, and emphasising the value of long-term growth over quick wins.
In the end, remind your teen that passion often follows mastery. By focusing on their strengths, becoming great at something, and finding a place where they're valued for what they do, they can build a fulfilling career that they’ll grow to love.
Final Thought
Instead of asking your teen, “What’s your passion?”, ask them:
“What do you think you're good at?”
“What problem do you want to solve?”
“What skills can you build to get there?”
This shift in focus could make all the difference in helping them create a future they’ll be proud of.
If you'd like professional help supporting your teenager, email me: steve@nextstepcareers.nz
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